If you’ve ever moved to a new city, state or country, you know that moving requires a tremendous amount of paperwork. Since I’ve lived in West Texas most of my life, except for my times in Oxford, I’d never done the out-of-state thing before. Some bits of paperwork, like the USPS change of address form, are quick and fairly simple; some, like getting new car or health insurance, or registering a vehicle, seem expressly designed to frustrate and confuse. I’ve been dealing with some of that this week, as well as the ever-increasing angst and worry of not having a job. Nobody told me how quickly the job search starts to wear on your patience, confidence and feelings of self-worth.
I’ve wished at least a dozen times this week that someone would just swoop in and take care of this for me. That someone else would pay the parking ticket I got because I don’t have a resident sticker, which I don’t have because I haven’t registered my car in Mass, which I haven’t done because I’ve been trying to work out how to switch our car insurance (apparently our State Farm policy doesn’t transfer up here). I’ve wished so much that I could get out of this house-that-Jack-built absurdity, and let someone else – a grown-up – take care of it all. (As well as finding a new doctor, a new hairdresser, temporary health insurance and – oh yeah – finding a job.)
But I’m realizing, over and over again, that I am the grown-up now. I’m the one who finally called the auto insurance company yesterday to set up a new policy. I’m the one who’ll have to deal with the resultant pile of paperwork that will eventually culminate in me being an official Mass resident. I’m the one who, even if I do have a meltdown over all this bureaucracy, has to pick myself up and keep going.
I don’t always like being a grown-up. It sure isn’t quite as much fun as it seemed when I was a kid. But I know it’ll all work out in the end – yes, even the job thing. So I’m trying to be gentle with myself, drink another cup of tea, take a few deep breaths and then keep going. Because that’s what grown-ups do. Even when life is messy and frustrating and full of pitfalls, they keep going. They don’t hide behind other people; they do it themselves; they face whatever minor irritations or big problems come their way.
(Although, in my opinion, grown-ups also take breaks, allow themselves time to slow down and read good books and hang out with friends. All of which are definitely on the agenda for this weekend.)
cakes, tea and dreams 
Katie know that I am praying for you! Sometimes being a grown-up is yucky. I am adding your job search to my prayer list. I want you to know that you are so very gifted in so many ways. God IS working to bring you the very specific and tailor-made job that He has ordained just for you. Rest in the certainty that He holds you and your future in His hands. You are loved, friend, even when being a grown up is not fun! Blessings to you.
Yea, you definitely need to do a few of those things that make being a grownup rock. It really is the better life, because we can pretty much do what we want, when we want. Even the things we have to do (like insurance paperwork – bleck) are because of the thing we wanted (an exciting move). A kid could never have decided to move to Boston! So definitely go drink that tea – or something less healthy!, read a book, watch a favorite movie in the middle of the day – something to remind you how great it is to have made it this far. 🙂
(Also, ug, I really do sympathize with the frustration. I’m going to pray the right job is right around the corner!)
Oooh, the self-worth one, that’s a toughie. I din’t realize how tied my identiy had become to what I was able to conrtibute to my family until I was an out of work wife for the first time. It makes me wonder what I’m going to do when I have kids – I always wanted to stay home, but now I know that I really like to work, and take a lot of who I am from my ability to do so. And all that paperwork – makes you wish for simpler times, like when you were just changing your last name, huh?
Not that this takes the burden off of you, but I understand, Katie. Keep taking comfort in the small things, let your husband assure you that you’re valued/loved/amazing/worthy and that God’s already knows where and when the right job will come, and it’s just not here yet. Tomorrow morning I’ll swap my cup of coffee for a mug of Jasmine Green, and pray with you from a continent away. Be well.
Just think how proud you will be after you tackled all this. You can do it! Because being grown-up is really cool after all.
I just want to say that I really, really identify.
Hey Katie! I can’t help you with all of that, but maybe I can shorten your list of adult things and help you with a doctor and where to get your hair cut. 😉
My doctor Adrienne Knopf (http://www2.massgeneral.org/bmg/knopf.html) at Bulfinch Medical Group in MGH and she is great. It’s also nice because MGH is right off the redline, so super convenient from Quincy! I like that she always talks with me about ALL the options I have for something and lets me make the decision with her advice, rather than just making a decision for me. Let me know if you have any questions about her or the practice and I’m happy to tell you more about my experiences with her.
For your hair, you MUST go see Naomi Baril at Avanti Salon on Newbury St (http://avantisalonboston.com/index.php?page=naomi). She’s not super cheap in the grand scheme of hair cuts, but she’s very reasonably priced for Newbury St (about $60 for a cut/dry). She’s also totally awesome and gives me cuts that people still compliment me on after it’s 6 weeks grown out, which I think makes it worth spending a bit more on, personally!
Good luck with the paperwork and the job search, and hang in there! You’ll find the job that’s right for you, and that’s more important than just finding any old job to put you out of your job search misery!
May all the annoyances be behind you soon! Funny how when you’re a kid you think being a grown up is the best ever. And while there are many good things about being grown up, I KNOW that naps are wasted on the young.
[…] First she showed up on Sarah’s blog in a post about living alone (wherein we all reminisced about our carefree single-girl days or bemoaned the fact that we’d never had any). Then my friend Camille came to town, and after she’d quizzed Abi and me about our Boston lives over dinner at Panera, she exclaimed, “I’m so proud of you girls – living in the big city, and making it! Just like Mary Tyler Moore!” And then, Sarah proposed a challenge to make August feel a little more charming, and in the comments we started talking about how we feel like Mary – organized, on top of things (and impeccably dressed) – when we take care of the grown-up stuff. […]
[…] start settling in, finding the library and the grocery store and a new church, dealing with the mound of paperwork required when you move halfway across the country? Didn’t we just learn to navigate the T, […]