The other night, I met the lovely Roxanne for dinner. We sat under the umbrellas at Cafe Pamplona, just off Harvard Square, and sipped iced tea and watched the world go by. And talked, as fast as we could for as long as we could, till she had to head off to her next conference session, and I caught the Red Line home.
Because we’ve been reading each other’s blogs for months, we skipped quite a bit of the surface stuff and delved right into the deep questions. We talked about day jobs and creative work, about love and long-distance relationships, about the amazing creative community we’ve both found on the Internet. And we asked questions – of ourselves and each other. Such as:
Are you happy in your work? Are you fulfilled by it? Do you feel at home where you’re living? If not, what’s missing? What’s next, in your day job and in your creative work? What’s your ideal work situation? And finally, would you like to meet up again next month (when she’s back in town)? The answer to the last one, of course, was absolutely.
We’d never met in person before, but every time she looked at me with those luminous blue eyes, I felt seen in the best kind of way. I felt known, yet not belittled or judged. I felt vulnerable – but I also felt safe. And it struck me: that’s really why I blog, and tweet, and post status updates and occasional photos on Facebook. And why I meet Abi for coffee and exchange long emails with various friends and always try to answer honestly when anyone asks me, “How are you?”
I do all this because I want to be seen. I want people to know me, really know me, to know not just what’s going on in my life but to know the essence of me. And the only way I can do that is to let them see me.
There are limits, of course – some things should be kept private, some things shared only with a small audience, and I certainly don’t advocate living your entire life on the Internet. But I believe in the power of truly seeing and being seen. And so I’ll keep sharing pieces of my life, online and offline, because that’s really what it’s all about, for me.
Who are the people in your life who really see you?
cakes, tea and dreams 
So much truth in this- I love the small group of kindred spirits I have been blessed to meet through the internet and on occasion in person 🙂
I was just sharing with my husband this morning that part of my being out of sorts in that I have not had the opportunity (or taken the opportunity) to make my normal blog rounds. To drop in for a friendly visit to my favorite front porches on the web.
It’s good to be here visiting this comfortable space.
Amelia, you just voiced what I was feeling visiting this blog for the first time, Dropping in for a friendly visit to favorite front porches on the web and good to be visiting this comfortable space. Well said!
Your point about the difference between knowing events in someone’s life and knowing the person really stood out to me. It kind of reminded me of Richard Beck’s post about the speed of love & interruptability versus our typical social networking hyperspeed/surface/”liking” mode.
I appreciate how you answer honestly when people ask you how you’re doing. What are some other ways you can move at the speed of love?
Here via Roxanne herself, and I’m so glad she pointed me to this post. It’s so clear and true, and beautiful besides. I love it. Vulnerable + Safe = a wonderful blend, isn’t it? And how great to look forward to seeing each other again.
I spent most of yesterday smiling at the memory of the sun coming between the buildings in Harvard Square and our dinner. You truly made my week – it was so refreshing and lovely to talk to you, my “internet friend.” I am incredibly excited to see you when I come back in July — and am incredibly excited for your weekend plans as well! Thank you for being so generous with your words, time and conversation; I wish I lived in Boston full-time so we could see each other – truly see each other – much more often.
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I just discovered your blog through Martha Stewart! (well not personally but through Pink of Perfection 🙂 I am really enjoying reading through your posts. I always love it when I am perusing the internet and looking for blog inspiration when I “chance” upon a blog where all the pieces in me click with the blogger. I don’t believe in coincidences but in divine appts. I believe that God who is orchestrating the pieces of our lives sees fit to connect us with others. And that it’s an enriching experience for both. There were many things that arrested my attention when reading some of your blog entries, how you like to write long emails, (in our fast food world, and twitter-mania (my term) the long email, the long handwritten letter can either be seen as a nuisance or a blessing. I am choosing the latter. I find myself wanting to take the time to read–really read long tomes and missives. It’s an act of discipline that I am rather enjoying. Also you introduced me to the series “The Saturdays” which I have never heard of but sound perfectly delightful. Your blogs on Boston remind me of my 2 years spent recently in Connecticut and how rich the Northeast is with history and beauty. I live in Texas outside Dallas-it’s in the 90s, our air conditioning is broken and I write this with fans blasting air on me. I love Texas and I love the summers and I’m becoming a fan of unsweet tea again. I don’t know if there’s an etiquette on how long a comment can be on someone’s blog. Some unspoken rule tells me that I’ve come to that limit (sort of like a neighbor who stopped by to chat and can’t stop talking) But I thank you for allowing the comment and I look forward to visiting. P.S. I really like this post about truly seeing people, I have 2 very good friends who really see me, and know me and love me just the same…I am blessed. Have a wonderful rest of this Sunday and a blessed week.
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