I am married to a marriage and family therapist.
And up until about a month ago, we rarely talked about money.
I know. My sweet husband spends his days helping couples, teenagers and families talk through their biggest issues, and we usually don’t have a problem talking about ours. But since our financial situation has fluctuated rather wildly during our three years of marriage (due to graduate school, a cross-country move and shifting employment situations for both of us), and since we’re both frugal, make-it-work people, we’d adopted a make-it-work policy of budgeting, paying bills and treating ourselves once in a while. This policy was working pretty well – but we didn’t have an overall plan. We’d never actually sat down to have any sort of financial “meeting.”
Enter Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University class, which we’re taking this fall (along with about a dozen others at our church). I admit, Dave Ramsey’s style kinda drives me nuts (either the man drinks too much coffee or he’s just naturally caffeinated) – but his principles so far seem mostly practical and sound to me. And the course is forcing us to do what we’d never done: take a good hard look at our finances, and talk at length about our attitudes toward money, our spending/saving/giving habits, and our plans for the future. (And give us a big push toward knocking out some of our substantial student loan debt.)
I’ve picked up some useful tidbits from Dave’s video lessons, and from our post-lesson discussions with the group. (It doesn’t hurt that our course leader is a financial planner and CPA.) But by far the most formative, challenging part of the course has happened when I’ve sat down at the kitchen table with J, pencil and bank statements at hand, to discuss where our money’s going, and how we can save more, give more and manage it better. (Side note: I love Mint.com’s handy budgeting tools and pie charts, where you can see all your accounts in one place.)
We are not rich, nor are we accountants (and talking about money for too long stresses J out, so we’ve learned to take breaks and focus on the most important things during each session, rather than hashing out every single detail). But it feels good to be formulating a purposeful plan for our money, rather than flying by a slapdash strategy. It’s helping me think more deliberately about purchases large and small – and coming to terms with my own attitude, and fears, about money. Most importantly, it’s drawing me closer to the man with whom I share my life and bank accounts – and that, to quote our friends at MasterCard, is priceless.
Have you taken a financial management course? If so, what have you learned? (I’m always eager for more tips.)
I wish I could meet you at a cafe after work and hear all about your insight from the course because I know I could use the tips! E and I are more in the ‘slapdash theory of finances’ place, as you put it, but I’d love for that to change in the future. As someone who thinks about conflict and mediation in her own work all the time, I find it interesting and a little disorienting to be called to apply the same concepts to my own work. I imagine it is similar to how you and J feel about these issues as well. Much love to both of you; let’s save for a coffee in 9 months, hopefully? π
I LOVE Dave Ramsey. He’s a real Christian who isn’t afraid to say it like it is. Can’t wait to hear more about FPU! π
We did the Crown Financial class through our church, and loved it. We liked the emphasis that all money is God’s money, not ours.
Andrew and I are taking an FPU class right now! I’m doing the cash envelope thing for many of my purchases this month, to try it out, and it’s working really well so far. I’m saving up for a few spa trips before the wedding and I’ve found that if I save about $20 a week from my “Blow Money” envelope until January, I’ll have no trouble paying for it all myself. I’ve always enjoyed seeing my savings account accumulate funds, but I’ve never had a system for it before. It’s very fun and, since Andrew and I are both mostly nerds, we enjoy filling out all of Dave’s little forms, too.
Okay warning: this is definitely going to be Mom-talk here, but I am so glad ya’ll are doing this. In my humble opinion the money subject is one of the two most important things that should be covered in premarital counseling and it is often glossed over. Good for you two to be taking charge of this part of your life!! Love you!
Woooo! Cut up those credit cards!!! π Dave Ramsey’s course was life changing for Todd and I. I don’t know what would have happened if we hadn’t been introduced to his wisdom. One day, when we can “live like no one else”, I would love to give our young about-to-get-married friends tuition to that class as a wedding gift. SO helpful for starting life together! Enjoy the class!
And tell me when you sell your car, ha! π
We did financial peace last year. At first it was slow going, and a little discouraging, but once the first “debt” gets paid off, it really makes you motivated for the next one, etc. We actually sold A LOT of our stuff in the middle because it was fun to pay down the debt. This last month I saw the zero balance of my student loans – that was awesome!!! It really does snowball. Good luck and don’t loose heart!
We did FPU last February and it was indeed life changing. We’re all about the envelopes and having a plan for every dollar now, and we feel so good about our progress. It’s also nice to save up for a splurge and not feel guilty about it afterward. I’m so glad you’re enjoying your course!
This is the second time in two days I’ve heard about this course. You might like this post from folks who took the same course, and proceeded to chip away at $60K in debt.
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