Recently, the lovely and wise Jen Lee wrote about her prescription for strength, sharing a few details of her self-care routine and noting broader principles for tending to your own strength. That post came in the middle of a grey week, where I was feeling stretched thin, trying to do too much and growing frustrated when I ended up tired and frazzled.
I circle back to this theme of self-care every so often, devising recharge programs and lifesavers for myself, musing on the importance of taking care and moving toward balance when life goes off-kilter. My lists tend to include a mix of little treats (new books, chai lattes, hours with favorite movies or good friends) and old-fashioned nourishment (steaming bowls of soup, fresh fruit, hot showers, getting extra sleep). And as arsenals of mood-boosters and sanity restoratives, they play a vital role.
But I like Jen’s idea of operating from a place of strength, of knowing what you need for your physical and emotional health and then making that a consistent practice, even if taking care of yourself feels effortful, or complicated. We all know instinctively what we need to feel well and whole, but we don’t always think about it, or consciously put it into practice. This isn’t self-indulgence (though a little of that is called for every now and again). This is necessary care, especially since most of us are the primary caretakers of our own bodies and souls.
The practices that nourish me and shore me up include the following:
1. Come prepared. Check the weather forecast; bring an extra book; pack snacks (or an umbrella or a cardigan – whatever will likely be needed); keep teabags handy. I feel so much less frazzled when I take time to prepare, even just for the day.
2. Wear good shoes. Living, working and walking in a city, I notice a difference when I wear quality shoes that support my feet.
3. Make time for tea. This ritual warms, comforts and relaxes me; clears my head and prepares me to deal with the world; and yes, provides much-needed caffeine on many mornings.
4. Get enough sleep. I am a night owl by nature, and I hold a 9-to-5 job with a commute. This one is tough, but I am making an effort.
5. Spend time in community. Not just the virtual kind (though I love it and am grateful for it), but the real, face-to-face kind.
6. Make time to journal regularly. When I am edgy or off-kilter, J will ask, “Have you been writing?” The answer is usually no, and it means I need to get back to the page, even if it’s just to rant for 10 minutes. I learn this lesson over and over.
7. Cook nourishing meals, and accept the necessity of takeout sometimes. These are different sides of the same coin. But they are both ways of paying attention to my body and accepting the realities of my schedule. J and I cook dinner together and eat at the table whenever possible, which grounds and relaxes us – but we also know the value of a meal out when needed.
8. Surround myself with good words. Books, blogs, a handful of my favorite magazines: wise, thoughtful, witty and engaging words are the air I breathe.
9. Get outside. Even when it’s freezing, fresh air blows the fog out of my soul – especially in the middle of the workday.
How do you nourish yourself and keep your reserves filled? I’d love to hear your prescription for strength.
cakes, tea and dreams 
Love this. For me it’s mostly about getting enough sleep and protecting time as a family. Often I go overboard, and go into hermit mode, but frankly that is better than the reverse. Thanks for the reminder that taking care of ourselves is a truly essential thing. ox
I love this. I also tend to go into hermit mode, calling it time to batten down the hatches. My family knows what that means…taking care of us, of me, of ours. this includes time outside, though. I agree with the “fresh air blows the fog out” idea. Reconnecting with nature is always a sure cure. Course, for us, we have the tail end of the Appalachians to hike or camp…or a weekend trip to the shore. Salt breezes fix anything…everything.
I just have to say that sitting down and opening this post this morning was like a friend grabbing me by the shoulders and giving me a friendly shake. As if my inner self said, “Wake up! You know these things.” When I read your thoughts and click on several of the links that take me to other lovely thoughts (like here I found Jen Lee for the first time and went down several rabbit trails with her, discovering her blog, videos etc) I am reminded of the things that keep me centered and peaceful. Why do we ever let ourselves get bogged down in the weeds at the side of the path when we know where we should be and what helps us move through life?
I am encouraged by your post. Thank you. I am in the midst of preparing for my firstborn’s wedding which will be this Saturday. It will be beautiful and good, but in the process I have become emotional, needy, angsty, and cranky. I am not writing, using my camera, or running; the three things that keep me peaceful. I am going to make my own list today of ways to stay strong.
A wonderfully balanced assessment of how to approach everyday life, no matter who you are or what your station in society happens to be. Thanks for your insightful post!
I’m a huge proponent of self-care. We have similar lists!
This list is brilliant and very important. I think I actually may print this out because you’ve listed exactly what I strive everyday to do to keep myself centered.
Have a lovely day 🙂
My list has a lot of the same things on it. I’ll add playing with my dog, running (a little), having a routine that I can rely on for getting done both what I have to do and what I want to do, measured indulgence in things like sweets and Dr Pepper, and regularly reminding myself that sometimes it’s okay to let a ball or two drop (temporarily).
Wise words that are so needed today. I came to an important decision to let one of my blogs go. I was pushing myself in a direction that just didn’t feel right, so I am stepping back for some much needed rest and assessment. I wonder if this is something introverts need more than extroverts do?
I love your list, Katie! I’m nodding “yes, yes” to every one.
Outdoor exercise. In nature. Can’t ever get enough of it.
Great post-thank you for the reminder!