Here we are again, in the in-between season, when the calendar says spring but the weather still says winter. I open the blinds in the morning and peer out into a gray and brown world, then reach for the bottle of Vitamin D pills in the medicine cabinet, next to my moisturizer. I wrap up in my red fleece robe after my shower, turn on my happy lamp while I dry my hair. Then I sip hot black tea with my breakfast, tuck my hair under a hat and zip up my coat. Some mornings, I put on sunglasses against the light shining from a brave blue sky.
The shop windows display flowers and sundresses, thin cotton blouses and candy-colored wedge heels. But it’s too cold yet for those flimsy fabrics, so I stand in front of the closet each morning, reaching for the brightest sweaters and scarves I own, trying to make new combinations of clothes I’ve been wearing for months. I paint my toenails bright orange or pink or red, even though no one will see them but me, for a few minutes each morning and evening as I take a shower or slip into pajamas.
It is still light when I leave the office now, still light even when I walk home from the subway, skirting patches of slush and clumps of snow. I open the dining room blinds when I get home, to let in the last of the sunshine, but I still plug in the twinkle lights and light a candle soon after. The view is pale blue sky streaked with white and gray and gold, bare branches with no buds on them yet. The windows, for now, remain shut tight, though I long for a breath of fresh outside air in my kitchen.
I know, because this is my third winter here, that it’s not over yet. We are due for more biting winds and cold rain before I can put away the coats and wellies. And I also know this: the days are growing longer, the air gradually warming, the dormant trees and plants getting ready to burst into bloom. I am watching for those signs of spring, while still bundling up in winter gear and making soup at least once a week. I am trying to pay attention to these last few weeks of winter, while acknowledging my deep longing for a new season, for the fresh, vibrant life of spring.
cakes, tea and dreams 
We have beautiful sun today in Michigan, and though it is still chilly there is a feeling of hopefulness in the air. In honor of that, I will dress in bright colors and sally forth as if it were spring!
This is so crazy to me. We had a week at the beginning of March where it topped 92 for 5 days running, and I was panicked. But it dropped back into the 70s for about 10 days, and then this week is all 80s, inching toward 90s again.
I can’t even imagine snow right now, “winter” was done a solid 7 weeks ago here. But, I sympathize with you because I’m sure it’s frustrating to see everyone else talking about spring when you still have cold!
It’s like how I feel in September and October when everyone else is saying “Yay pumpkin! Leaves! Cool weather!” and I’m saying, “It’s still 105 #$*@% degrees, I WANT TO WEAR A SWEATER, sob.”
So hang in there! And feel free to gloat about your lovely fall weather in September. 😉
You need to come see me in California! I get the blues at Christmas, since our weather never really changes. But this time of year, I feel thankful for SF.
Still, I love that you’re trying to notice and enjoy the last dregs of winter. That’s me too. I always want to skip ahead but I’m trying to remember to be present and alive.
Alabama weather has been crazy! After a string of super warm and sunny days we have had morning temps in the 20s and 30s for the last several days. We’re warming again. Hope it sticks this time!
Lovely text. I’m longing for spring, too, and it feels like it’s coming full force this week.