Mostly what I hate about cleaning is how futile it feels. Wipe down the kitchen countertops, and crumbs appear an hour or two later. Sweep the floor, and you’re chasing dust bunnies inside of a week. My kitchen has the kind of dingy yellowish linoleum that never looks clean, even when freshly mopped, and the second I conquer the pile of dishes in the sink, more dirty plates and glasses seem to spring up out of nowhere. And I don’t even have children.
For the record, my husband is a stellar dish-washer and -dryer (we don’t have a mechanical dishwasher) and the only reason he doesn’t do the laundry is because I’m a wee bit compulsive about it. He takes out the trash, and we split the rest of the housekeeping duties between us. But still, the accumulation of life’s daily messes tends to build until it threatens to overwhelm me once in a while.
During our most recent blizzard (which conveniently fell just after the New Year), I tackled a few “dead zones” in our apartment – small, neglected places where clutter tends to collect, resulting in a constant low level of frustration whenever I pass those spots. I made a list, then set to work, clearing off dresser surfaces, organizing a few drawers, and (biggest triumph of all) cleaning out my desk, which I’d intended to do for at least two years.
This is the kind of cleaning that feels satisfying: decluttering, organizing, bringing harmony and order to spaces where chaos previously reigned. It’s admittedly a small-scale victory, and it doesn’t negate the daily work that still needs to be done: the laundry, the dishes, the making of the bed. But it’s nonetheless an accomplishment, a small forward movement toward a cleaner living space and a calmer life.
I haven’t yet tackled all the trouble spots on the list, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe, next time I’m totally fed up with the Sisyphean nature of scrubbing out the sink or cleaning the microwave, I can pull out that list, pick a dead zone to clear out, and give myself a quick hit of cleaning satisfaction. (Possible spots include: the top of the fridge; the “miscellaneous” pantry shelves; a couple of canvas bins that collect oddments of all kinds.)
Anyone else struggle with the futility of the daily cleaning grind? If you have tips to share, I’m all ears.
cakes, tea and dreams 
Yes! This is a major cause of stress for me. Here’s something that has recently helped (not a new thing, actually, but something I hadn’t done for years): I’ve assigned a cleaning chore for each weekday.
I’d been letting things get out of hand. When I had a few moments to clean, I felt overwhelmed, knew I couldn’t tackle everything, and so couldn’t even get started. Now each day I tell myself the mess doesn’t really matter because all I have to tackle is (fill in the blank: mop kitchen floor or clean master bath).
It’s also made it easier for my husband to chip in since he knows, by glancing at the calendar, what’s next on the cleaning rotation.
Not a perfect system but something of a sanity-saver.
Andrew is compulsive about dishes, and I’ve now learned to be, so our kitchen tends to be the cleanest room in our house (mostly because we spend so much time there). What I try and do normally is just take 10 minutes when I feel like it (usually once a day to once every two days) and just do SOMETHING. Clean the bathroom counter, sweep, vacuum the whole house, etc.
Also, once, I was trying to finish an audiobook I had checked out of the library and was coming due (it was The Book Thief – tears), and I didn’t just want to sit there and listen, so I cleaned for the 2 hours I was listening to it. Managed to wash and dry all the linens in the house, make two beds, wash the dishes, vacuum, clean the shower, and do some decluttering. Meanwhile, Andrew was doing the same thing while clearing the leaves out of our front yard. Man, that was a productive Saturday afternoon. So, yeah, audiobooks all the way.
I hear ya on the stress caused by the daily demands that a home puts on you! Doing the dishes isn’t one of my more hated chores – I actually find it weirdly satisfying, although I wouldn’t actually *choose* to do dishes if given the option. For me, laundry is the worst. I tend to procrastinate because I hate it so much, and then it piles up and ends up being ten times worse than if I had just gotten on with it from the beginning. Steve does his own laundry, but I do mine and Emily’s.
What helps me get through all the chores – whether it’s folding laundry, doing dishes, clearing clutter or something else – is thinking or meditating while I do it, about how much I love the life that has created these chores. Being a wife and a mother – there’s definitely more clutter in my house, and an endless parade of dishes and laundry, but I cherish both roles so much. When I’m washing the dishes after dinner I’m thinking about the good conversation I had with Steve (and sometimes, how pretty my dishes are… pretty dishes do help). When I’m putting Emily’s laundry away or emptying the Diaper Genie or picking up toys and books that she has scattered all over the floor I think about how much I wanted her and that these chores are the direct result of me getting the baby I longed for so much – and then it actually feels fun to clean up after her! I swear it works.
When I was first married I felt not only overwhelmed but resentful of chores. My mother had a daily housekeeper, which has never been even on the horizon for me. Finally, I realized that I really loved a serene and gracious life and a clean calm house was a major contributor to that. So I decided that if i wanted to be the “upstairs” person, then I had also to be the “downstairs” person. I made a list of what had to be done to keep my house the way I wanted it (clean and neat, but by no means obsessive-newspapers and magazines are all around, but corralled in baskets, for example), then I figured out that by taking just one hour per day I could keep it that way. Of course, sometimes life interferes and even that one hour doesn’t happen, but I make up for it on another day. And I make it a point to wipe bathrooms down every morning (not deep clean, just wipe off all surfaces with a rag) and clear off the kitchen counter every evening. It no longer feels so overwhelming and I feel that I have accomplished the gracious life I wanted for us. I find that my daughters are doing this in their own homes now. I think one important point is that the chores must remain the background of life, not the reason for life. Ok, that’s enough. I’m sure I have said more about alligators than you wanted to hear.
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