As I said last week, my one little word for 2015 is gentle.
I’ve been choosing a word each year since 2010, when I chose brave and it ended up carrying me through (and inspiring) all sorts of changes. I ordered a silver pendant stamped with it (and a second one when I lost the first one), and I still wear it around my neck, next to my skin.
I’ve chosen other words since then – comfort, shift, attention and most recently, light. But brave has continued to resonate in my life – sometimes whispering, sometimes ringing like a deep gong.
Gentle can sometimes seem like the opposite of brave – it’s soft, unobtrusive, a word that slips in and sits down quietly instead of bursting through the door. But it’s what I need this year.
It has been (I keep saying) a difficult few months to live in this world. The headlines have been worse than usual. This fall brought some wonderful events – notably my trip to Oxford and the birth of my nephew – but it was also stressful. Family illness, a massive work event, and lots of other changes at the office left me exhausted. And honestly, the daily grind of commuting and cooking and church responsibilities – the relentless work of keeping up and taking care – also wore me down. (Not to mention the shouting matches that flare up online over the smallest things.)
Last month, Serenity wrote a post about questions and listening, and Felicity shared the advice she’d been giving her teenage son: “Just be gentle with everyone. Don’t try to be right or say important things. Just be gentle.” When I read that, something deep in me sighed: Yes.
I want to be gentle this year, with myself and other people. In the first case, it mostly means not beating myself up when I don’t live up to my own (often unreasonably high) expectations. In the second, it means listening to what people are saying (and often, to what they’re not saying) before I come back with a sharp-edged quip or a cutting comment. In a world that often values being right (or snarky) over being kind, I want to tip the balance back toward kindness. I want to be a safe place, for others and for myself.
Being gentle – less critical, more gracious – sounds wonderful, but I already know it’s not always easy. So far, it means thinking before I speak – a lot – and keeping a few good words in mind. And sometimes it means scrapping the to-do list, shutting down the Internet and going to bed early. (Because I am so much gentler and kinder when I get enough sleep.)
I had lunch with Carlee recently when I was in Texas, and we talked about our words (past and present) and what they’ve taught us. Several days later, she sent me the graphic at the top of this post. I like how it links my new word with my older word – because I believe they’re two sides of the same coin. This year, I’m working on being both brave and gentle.
Do you have a word for 2015? I’d love to hear about it if you do.
cakes, tea and dreams 
Such an excellent exercise. I’ve done this before but not every year but I will have a word each year now. Before I had the word “clarity” which was very helpful. This year nothing was resonating with me until I said the word “clean” and I knew that was the word. I’m at a new stage in life – my Mom died last year and her little sister – both at a good, old age and even lived in the same facility at the end of their lives. Now most of my aunts and uncles and other older people in my life are gone and that causes a shift in one’s life. I’ve taken up photography as a hobby and love taking nature pictures. But the word “clean” just feels like a time when I need to simplify and purge and cleanse myself of extra things I don’t need – a clean environment always give me more joy and inspiration – cleansing my mind of anything negative and any extra “noise” in the world that is only a distraction – clean eating and returning to the basics of good and wholesome food – moving through the world in a simpler way and building in time to just think and enjoy and create. Thank you for your inspiration – I look forward to your posts and love to have that window into your world.
What a great word, Betty! I hope it proves fruitful for you.
Thank you Katie – I really like your word too.
The world could use more gentleness, Katie. I think this is a great One Word!
Oh my gosh- this post REALLY convicted me. it is the PERFECT word and description for me. I want this for me, too. I’m a very sensitive people pleaser. So people’s words and harshness cuts me. I love this and am going to try to work on this. Please post how you are doing with this, I’m very interested. It’s hard when your inner default is to speak right away or react.
Blessings,
Kelly in Michigan (I read your blog for all of the awesome book posts. I’m a crazy reader and can’t stop)
I don’t have a word but I like this idea so much, and this word, that I may have to borrow it.
I have been trying to choose between “brave” and “true” for 2015. Then I realised I loved the combination of the two: “brave and true”. That is what I yearn to be in 2015.
I love that, Anne-Marie! What a great phrase.
Wow, what a great picture “It takes guts to be gentle and kind”. I love it. And it’s so sweet and typical that Felic and I were having such similar thoughts and that you were drawn to them. You’re basically one of us, you know. Love you, Katie. Your word is beautiful, and I hope the year is gentle and kind to YOU.