Earlier this month, Anne published a post about how your feed reader can change your life. Her main argument was that reading about a topic can increase a person’s interest in that topic: she recommended, for example, adding blogs related to exercise if your New Year’s resolution is to work out more often.
While I definitely see how such a strategy could be helpful, I took the opposite approach. After reading the post, I went straight to my feed reader and cleaned it out.
Some of the work was simply long-overdue housekeeping. I follow a few blogs whose feeds had moved, or whose authors hadn’t posted in a year or more. I deleted or updated these. But then I took it a step further. If I often find myself skipping past a blog – because I’m bored with it, because the author’s voice no longer resonates, or because the tone makes me feel defensive or guilty – I deleted it too.
The Internet is a loud place, and for those of us who spend a lot of time on it – especially we who relish the odd, beautiful world of the blogosphere and social media – the voices of the bloggers and tweeters we follow become the voices in our heads.
I’ve never met most of my Internet friends in person, but if I’m reading their words consistently, their voices echo in my head with surprising regularity. Sometimes that’s a boon – as when Anne recommends a great book or Micha shares her gratitude on Thankful Tuesday. But some of those voices are often snarky or judgmental, and those are the voices I do not need to hear.
Related: as a reader and book reviewer, I love connecting with authors on social media. It’s a true pleasure to be able to tell someone directly that I love their book, and I’ve made several friends that way, like Rachel and Jennifer. But it took me a long time to realize that I like some authors better on the pages of their books. I’ve unfollowed a few authors because I’d rather spend time with their characters than with them.
In keeping with my word for the year – gentle – I’m not only trying to speak and act gently, but to make sure I’m not filling my head with voices that are sharp-edged or bitter. I welcome honesty, absolutely, and I relish the occasional dose of witty sarcasm. But meanness or snark at others’ expense? I’m out.
When I find a new blog these days and consider adding it to my reader, I pause and ask: do I want this person in my head? Because, if they’re in my feed reader, that’s where they’re going to end up.
Who are the voices in your head (Internet and otherwise) these days?
*Grammar nerd alert: I know I should have used “whom” in the title of this post. But “who” sounded catchier. Forgive me!
You are one of the people I want in my head. Though we’ve never met and I’m probably old enough to be your mother, I thoroughly enjoy your book reviews and the way you share your life in Boston (one of the cities on my bucket lists). Thank you for being a bright spot on the Internet.
Thank you, Cynda! It’s a pleasure to have you here. 🙂
Ditto, even though I’m new here!
Thanks, Greta!
I started over from scratch this year when I switched from bloglovin to feedly, and I’m finding it lovely to has quieted a bit of the noise. I also feel less anxious – scrolling through and not reading many of the posts in my feed made me feel either guilty or like I was missing something. Now I know the only things showing up are things I really want to read.
Ooh, that’s a great way to wipe the slate clean. There are so many demands on our attention these days – it feels good to clear out some of the noise.
This is so true. I find myself editing my feed reader regularly once it becomes clear I’m skipping someone’s posts on a regular basis or I’m just not interested in the subject matter anymore. I hadn’t really thought about snarky people in particular weighing us down, but I’m sure you’re right. I can’t think of anyone I follow who writes like that, so I must have been subconsciously editing my feed that way all along.
By the way — hello! I just found your blog a few days ago when Jaclyn (@backyardyogini) tweeted at you and I clicked over to see who you were. Love the blog! I don’t read nearly as many books as you do (53 last year) but I love to hear other people’s recommendations. I’ve been doing an annual book round-up on my blog since the early 2000s, but I decided 2015 will be the year I start posting them monthly. My January book list (10 books, so I’m well on my way to beating last year’s record) will be posted on Monday.
Hello to you too and welcome! I’ve seen your name pop up on Jaclyn’s blog and Twitter feed – will have to check out your blog now!
Yes, yes, yes! Feeling this a lot lately. I just finished Jan Karon’s book Somewhere Safe With Somebody Good – it’s been years since I’ve visited Mitford, and it was such a satisfying read. One thing that I noticed…I like the way I feel when I read her books – I like the way my thinking changes. As opposed to “edgier” reading. I’ve noticed the same things with some of the people I follow on Twitter. I like your voice in my head. Like cyndap, I might could be your mother, but you give me hope for my kids’ generation. 🙂
Thanks for sharing!
I agree with Cynda. I discovered your blog by way of Art House America a few years ago, and I’m so glad I did! I also read Anne’s blog every day. (I’m pretty sure I discovered her through your blog.) The Rabbit Room is another favorite online community.
You’re right–the blogs I choose to read do end up in my head, so it’s important to choose wisely. In the past, I’ve noticed positive changes in my thoughts and attitudes when I cut out certain blogs / voices. Thank you for being a positive and encouraging voice! (Just this week you encouraged me to make black bean soup. 😉 )
This is really timely as I just took a few blogs out of my bloglovin feed that felt a bit too strong on the harsh voices, sarcasm, and gross out factor. Those are certainly not words and tones I want to encounter every time I log in.
I love having your voice in my head! Not only your book reviews, love of teas, struggles with the weather (because I sympathize), but with your descpriptions of Boston. In fact, a few years ago I scoured your blog (and contacted you for more info) and made my itinerary for our Boston visit! Thank you, again!!
Ooh, this is so, so good. I’m going to ask myself this question for every one of my feeds: fb, twitter, instagram, bloglovin – all of it!
This grammar girl caveat at the end made me smile, big. I totally agree that the voices we read every day can become a large part of what we hear in our head. Like you I’ve been cleaning house. I’m grateful that your voice remains in my feed reader and in my head. xox