It’s no secret: this winter has been driving me crazy. You know the salient facts: blizzards for days. Record-breaking cold temps. Snowbanks higher than my head, ice and slush on the roads, more snow (always) in the forecast. (We’re heading toward a new record for Boston’s snowiest winter ever.)
I don’t love the cold (or the high heating bills). But this stretch of weather – unpredictable, intense and requiring lots of cleanup after each storm – has seriously messed with my routine. It’s taken me – and most people I know – nearly two months to settle into a winter rhythm. (Since I work at a university, I see it with our students too: most of them didn’t have a “normal” week of classes until Week 5 of the semester.)
I’ve been thinking about rhythm versus routine. I have a lot of routines in my daily life – some seasonal, some perennial. Right now, the morning routine looks like this: hit the snooze button, hop in the shower, pull on a dress and fleece-lined tights, brew a cup of Earl Grey in my favorite blue mug.
Some routines, like that one, are most productive when they’re well honed and I don’t have to think about them. (I haven’t had the energy for overthinking lately – which isn’t entirely a bad thing.) And some habits are truly life-giving: that morning cup of tea, calling my mom once a week or so, writing every day, catching up with my husband over dinner. I draw deep nourishment from those practices.
Sometimes, though, I get bored with an unchanging routine. I’ll eat the same thing for lunch three days in a row and then crave something new, stat. I’ll drink the same tea for a week or more and then decide, inexplicably, that I want something different. (Fortunately, I always have a dozen or so options on hand.)
I’m a musician. I love a good rhythm. I like a certain amount of predictability, of comfort, of knowing what’s coming at the end of the next verse (or day). But I want room for variation, syncopation, a little color or spice. I want the freedom to choose daffodils over tulips, ginger peach tea instead of chai, a new recipe instead of the same old meal (though I rely heavily on our menu of favorites).
Sometimes I try something new and fall in love (like going to the art museum on Thursdays), so it becomes a habit, part of my daily or weekly rhythm. I am thrilled to be back at Monday night yoga, where the instructor and the poses are familiar (though Meredith does vary things a bit from week to week).
But I like having the option for change. I get bored and fidgety if I feel like I have to do the same thing, in the same way, every time. Sometimes I break the routine on purpose, just to shake things up. I like to think of it as that syncopation, an extra beat (or pause) that gives my life a bit of pizzazz.
Is it just a fear of boredom, or does it go deeper than that? Is there something life-giving about rhythms, like a favorite song or a good liturgy? Is there something soul-sucking about routines, like the dullness of an automated assembly line? Or am I just quibbling over semantics?
What do you think?
cakes, tea and dreams 
I love routines as I believe they help relieve the stress of making many choices, which is exhausting in today’s world. I don’t believe they need be stultifying. Drinking tea may be part of your routine, which needn’t be fixed. Knowing I eat fruit and cereal fro breakfast is routine and saves making a decision everyday. However, changing the fruit and cereal seasonally keeps it from being dreary. Right now I am settling in to a new home after nine years living and working overseas. I don’t have routines and I find my days are messy and unfulfilling. I crave settling into a routine so I don’t have to decide every minute what I should do next! Routines are the framework of our days which then allow us time and space for other things. If we know we go to yoga on Thursday morning them we don’t make any other arrangements for that time. If we know what to wear, what we will eat, where we will go today the our mind is free to contemplate what we want to read, the art we are viewing, the work right in front of us. Routine is the foundation of my day, as it is of a house, which gives the ‘decorative’ part of my day a place to be enjoyed.
Drinking tea … which tea you choose, needn’t be fixed … was what I meant to say!!
I read a quote once {can’t remember where now} on this subject – it said that a good routine has flexibility in it because a routine must serve us, rather than the other way round. If we’re too rigid in our routines, and feel anxious if we alter anything, then the routine isn’t working for us. It seems like a healthy thing to do, to change the small details of your routine so you don’t become bored.
Hi! I found you because I’m looking for thoughts on what it looks like to have rhythm vs routine. I’m learning about the 4 Work Styles (which you can learn about through orbitingnormal.com). And I’m discovering that depending on how you are wired, you need one over the other. I’m a Designer (work-style) which means I think in big picture, blue prints of life. Routines are too detailed and minute to minute which stresses me out because I lose site of the big picture. So I work better with arranging life by rhythms. I’m still learning and working through all of this (I’m taking a course through orbiting normal) but if you want to just brainstorm and talk through some of these ideas, I’d be happy to be a sounding board. It may be that routine feels constrictive to you because of how you are wired. Which may be difficult if those you are doing life with are wired for routine. Just some thoughts. I’m in the process of trying to figure out my rhythm too.