Every once in a while, usually when I’m not looking, a line from a hymn sneaks into my soul and lodges there, like a bird building a covert nest under the eaves of a house.
This happens with non-religious music too (I’m looking at you, Taylor Swift), but when a hymn lyric sets up camp in my consciousness, it becomes a kind of mantra, or a kind of prayer. Last December, during Advent, it was my favorite four-part version of the Magnificat. This winter, a Lenten hymn caught my attention, and I hummed it over and over as we plodded toward Easter.
This fall, it’s a line from a hymn I’ve known for years: God of Grace and God of Glory.
I’ve sung the several verses of this song all my life, in the big Baptist church where I grew up and in various other churches since then. I know most of the words by heart, and I love them all, but one line in particular has burrowed into my mind and soul lately:
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage for the living of these days.
I was laid off from my job a few months ago. I have not wanted to talk about it here on the blog, but that simple fact has informed every day of my life since I received the news. The job search has been longer and more difficult than I expected, and I miss the purpose and the camaraderie of my former workplace. I’ve had some interviews and a few promising leads, but it has been hard. And it continues to be hard.
After months of job hunting – the relentless cycle of applications and rejections, the constant worry about whether I’m doing it right or doing enough, the loneliness that comes from missing colleagues and community – I am finding it difficult to pray. There are a host of reasons for this, not all directly related to the job search, but I can’t always make the words come, or even bring myself to believe that it matters.
But this quiet hymn lyric keeps coming to mind, both on the hard days and the not-quite-so-hard days. I catch myself humming it at odd moments, or I find the words floating through my head. (We also sang this song at church yesterday, because my husband – who plans our worship services – is evidently a mind reader.)
Both halves of this line resonate with me. “The living of these days” speaks to a broad swath of struggles and worries, both personal and societal. When I’m wondering how to face these difficulties, I’m always hoping for more wisdom and more courage. And when I’m too tired or too dispirited to form a prayer, this seems to be a pretty good one.
Grant us wisdom, grant us courage for the living of these days.
Amen.
cakes, tea and dreams 
The arrival of your blog in my email is a peek into a soulmate I only know virtually. So many times I’ve read your writings and have found sunshine – a friend who shares my love of books, a dislike of winter’s darkness, and an appreciation of the wonders of nature.
It’s unfortunate that American society often defines us by what we do rather than the person we are. You bring so many people the gift of you through your writings. On tough days feel the good wishes being sent to you by your readers.
During a difficult time in my life I found myself so angry with God that I couldn’t pray. I knew that I was not being of good faith. I knew that prayer would console me but I just couldn’t get past the anger. I confessed my feelings with an older and wiser neighbor. She gave me a hug and said, that’s okay I’m praying for you. My prayers go with you – peace.
Thanks so much for your kind words, Patsy.
Yes pray for wisdom
I’m so sorry about your job!
Thanks, friend.
What a beautiful thing to have lodged in your mind on the hard days. I’m so sorry that you are facing tough times, but I’m glad that you have this hymn lyric to comfort you at least a little bit. And I’m sending you hugs and prayers and many good luck wishes and new job vibes.
I saw a quote on Instagram this morning that made me think of you (and me). It was “Tough times never last. Tough people do.”
Love you.
I like that quote! We are tough. 🙂 Love you too.
I’ve been thinking about these words all week. In fact, I was just praying them this morning for myself and for you.
Thanks, friend. Love you.
I really hope that your job search turns fruitful soon. I know what it is like to have that rug pulled out from underneath.
Yes, it is awful, isn’t it? Thanks for the good thoughts.
I’m so sorry to hear about your job, Katie! The search process feels endless, sometimes, and incredibly frustrating. I hope soon you find something that makes your soul sing.
Thank you, Julie!
Oh, I’m so sorry you are in this struggle, but I’m glad you told us. (And hurray for a husband who is a mind reader.I don’t know this hymn, but I need this phrase right now. So, I’m borrowing it. I shall pray it for both of us.
I’ll pray it for both of us too, Kathy.
Ug! Praying for you Katie! I thought you’d found something, but I guess that’s just because I feel that’s how the universe should>/i> be treating you. I know you’ll find the next right thing. I’m having to tell myself similarly since we’re about to be in a rental house hunt again. I’m hoping and praying all the very best for you. Check in any time!!
Don’t mind the weirdness in my comment. I was trying to italicize *should* but had a typo in my html. That’s fun. 🙂
Thank you, dear one! And oh, house-hunting can be hard. Hoping for a good one for you!
Good things happen to good people. Keep the faith–who knows what greatness is right around the next corner? The wait, however, is hard. See my earlier comment about faith.
Dear Katie – so very sorry to hear the news about your job. You really are such a special person. I think you have touched many through your blog and many of us have had that experience of thinking this person says things that resonate with me so much!! Someone as gifted as you in your writing and your life will find a good job. I know it is so difficult – it is really, really difficult but I feel strongly that you must not let the lack of your job define you!! It is a complex set of emotions that come about when this happens and too often we are totally defined by our job. We will lift you up in prayer – later your prayers will come – for now lean on those close to you – take any offer of kindness and I know you will repay it ten fold. Someone once said when you are really at your lowest to read the Psalms. Don’t study them – don’t pray about them – just sit down and read them – I think they will speak to you. Best wishes on your job search but take courage and know who you are and know you are good enough – more than good enough! This experience will enrich you – you just have to go through the icky part now but some of the most splendid people have been laid off, fired, kicked out on their keester only to come back stronger and somehow I sense this about you. Take heart and thanks for sharing such difficult news – you’ll always be my favorite and you inspire me with your blog. I just hooked up with WordPress to start a little blogging on my own due to your inspiration. Thank you and take care.
Dear Katie – I don’t know how I missed this when it was first posted, but know that I will be praying for you and your husband as you wade through these waters. While I have had a similar experience, it wan’t exactly what you are going though. I can’t really know how you feel, but I do know that our Lord will see you though. Blessings and continued prayers!
How did I miss this? So sorry, honey.