This year, I chose gentle for my one little word. Or, more accurately, it chose me.
I’ve been choosing a word each year for a while now, and while I can’t ever predict how my choice is going to shake out, I always enjoy the process of following a word through the year.
Gentle, when it came to me, felt like a deep sigh of relief, a much-needed shift away from some frantic and critical habits I’d slipped into during a hectic few months. Also, as I said at the time, it felt like a good companion to brave, my word from 2010 which remains so important to me.
The circumstances of this year, as it turns out, have not been particularly gentle. I struggled through a record-breaking Boston winter, with bitter temps and frigid winds and so much snow. The gentleness in that season was mostly internal: nourishing myself with tea and soup, reading good books, doing lots of yoga, making an effort to dial back the criticism (often silent, sometimes verbal) of myself and others.
When the weather finally warmed up, I found myself facing another hard thing: the loss of a job I loved, and the subsequent months of networking, interviews and job hunting. That process has been, in a word, brutal. And it’s not entirely over, though I am grateful for a temp gig I’m loving, and for my ongoing freelance assignments.
With the job hunt, too, the gentleness has been mostly internal: doing my best work on a given day, and letting that be enough. Working hard to polish my resume or answer interview questions thoughtfully or compose yet another cover letter. And then taking a break, to cook dinner or meet a friend for coffee or curl up on the sofa with a book or a good TV show.
I have been reminded, over and over again, that I’m only human. I am capable, but I’m not Superwoman. I need rest and downtime and connection with the people I love. I need to ask for things once in a while. And often, I need to turn off the computer and go to sleep.
It has also been (I need hardly say) a tough year to live in this world. Headlines that provoke anxiety and terror, so many shouting matches that solve nothing, an increasing sense of the precariousness of this life. I don’t know what to do about that, except to keep lighting the candles I possess.
It’s an ongoing process, this gentleness with myself and others. But I’m glad this quiet, unobtrusive word has been my companion in 2015. I’m hoping to find a new word for 2016, but I think gentle will hang around a while, too.
Did you choose a word for 2015? If so, how did it go?
Thank you for your post! I think my word for 2015 would have to be change. Many aspects of my life have undergone transformation this year. May your 2016 be happy and gentle.
When I read your title, I thought, “Of course! Gentle fits perfectly.” Then I read your blog and realized how truly tough your year has been. Yet, your words have made life feel so gentle for the rest of us, even in our own hard times. I think that is one of your gifts to the world. Thank you for sharing it.
Thank you, dear Kathy.
I love the idea of choosing a word for every year. I think mine would be ‘grateful’ because time and again, 2015 reminded me of how grateful I am to have some amazing people in my life.
Our hardships define who we are, so keep being strong. Love your blog ! 🙂
Sumaica – sumaicasad.wordpress.com
Oh, that’s a good one. Thank you!