My friend Dani wondered in her blog post yesterday, “Why does everyone everywhere think that being with somebody is the way to be fulfilled? Even I think so sometimes. Is it because it’s true, or because we have been trained to think that it’s true?”
We at ACU are especially trained to think that you must be part of a couple to be happy. Everywhere we look, we see subtle and overt encouragements to get a date, find a significant other or find a spouse before we leave college. (From Sadies Week to club events requiring a date, to numerous “ring by spring” references in Freshman Follies – they’re ubiquitous. For heaven’s sake, the cover story of the current issue of ACU Today is called “Where We Fell in Love!”) And yet – we are a Christian institution that preaches ultimate fulfillment in Christ! Where’s the consistency here?
I’m all for Christian marriage, believe me. I hope to have a Christian marriage some day, and I’m thrilled for my friends (like the Carters, the Bishops and the soon-to-be pairs of Wilsons and Shavers and Lollars) who have found their lifelong loves at ACU. Lots of my professors and adult friends met and got married here. But when and why did the message of marriage become so pervasive that those of us who aren’t on that road (at least not yet) feel suffocated by it?
I’m the alumni news person for the next issue of ACU Today, our alumni magazine, which goes to the printer in early December. I get to type up news items regarding moves, marriages, births, job changes, deaths and other life-altering events. Believe me, I smile at the marriage and birth announcements – because I know these are good things, and I believe absolutely in strong and happy Christian families. But there’s a tiny part of me that cheers whenever we get a news item from someone who is still single, living out his or her dreams in the newspaper or the education or the business world. No, fulfillment is NOT found in another person. And they are living proof.
Even those of us who are in strong relationships soon discover that no other person can fill us up. The caverns and valleys in my heart and soul are too deep to be filled by any other mere human. That is, and always has been, the job of the One who calls us to Himself. He, and He alone, is big enough.
cakes, tea and dreams 