saving my life: winter 2023 edition.

Hello, friends. It’s technically the halfway point of winter, though we in the Northeast know we still have weeks to go before spring really comes. No matter what the groundhog says, we can expect biting winds and freezing temps for a while yet.

That’s one reason – though not the only reason – I’m joining up with Anne Bogel’s annual celebration of what’s saving our lives right now.

January was unusually grey – the cloudiest in decades, according to my favorite weather guy. I struggle with short days and bitter nights , and have been feeling a bit uninspired at work and in my own creative practice. So I needed the push, more than usual, to really look at what’s saving my life these days.

Here’s my list – I’d love to hear yours, if you’d like to share:

• Clementines. These little bursts of sunshine are my favorite winter fruit. Their sweet-tart zing is just the best, and I love the way the scent lingers on my hands.
• Petting Gigi, our affectionate office dog, whom I adore (it’s mutual).
• Yoga, several times a week. I’m lucky that The Point, my beloved studio, is down the street from both work and home.
• Strong black tea in my red Darwin’s mug. I miss the place itself, but the mug and the memories live on.
• Fresh flowers, always, and houseplants. My stripey nanouk plant and African violet are thriving, and I’m starting my second batch of paperwhites soon.
• Season 3 of All Creatures Great and Small, which is as joyful and funny and life-affirming as ever.
• Spotify mixes, made for me: soulful singer-songwriters, Broadway hits, smooth jazz and the women of country.
• Bright red toenail polish, even if nobody sees it but me.
• Twinkle lights, at home and at work.
• Travel plans coming up.
• The &Juliet soundtrack, full of poppy, upbeat, feminist, blues-curing hits I adore.
• Good books, as always.
• Colorful pens and cute stickers, from Katie Daisy and Brandi Kincaid.
• Trading texts and Marco Polo messages with a few dear friends.

What’s saving your life this winter? I’d love to hear.

P.S. The fifth issue of my newsletter, For the Noticers, comes out soon. Sign up here to get on the list!

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Coping mechanisms for dreary weather

We haven’t seen the sun since Tuesday, friends, and frankly, I’m getting a little desperate. Boston hasn’t had much snow yet this winter (though my West Texas hometown got seven inches the other day), but it has been chill, grey and rainy for days on end. I am pulling out all my lifesavers from Monday’s post, but here are a few that have particularly come through in the clutch this week:

• Eating all the clementines. They remind me that brightness will return, and they taste so good.
• Making travel plans to see family and friends (in reliably sunny locales!) this spring.
• Dinner with a girlfriend the other night – the curry was delicious, but two hours of good talk was even better for my soul.
• My happy lamp – even if it’s a placebo effect, I will take the blast of bright light in the mornings when it’s so misty out that I can’t see across Boston Harbor.

• Reading fun kid lit. Currently loving To Night Owl from Dogfish, recommended by Anne.
• Daffodils from Trader Joe’s, which were on sale for $1.50 this week.
• Reading a gardening book – in this case, Six Square Metres by Margaret Simons.
• Writing snail mail love notes – I’m trying to write one every day in February.

How do you get through the truly dreary days?

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Saving my life: winter 2020 edition.

It’s become a midwinter tradition: every February, dozens of us link up with Anne Bogel to answer a brilliant question (from Barbara Brown Taylor): “What is saving your life now?” I make these lists periodically throughout the year (the act of making them can itself be lifesaving), but I always need the reminder in midwinter. So here, as we head into February, is what’s saving my life now:

• The witch hazel blooming in the Prudential Center courtyard: a bright, hopeful neon yellow.
• Related: Tuesday indoor picnics in the Pru with someone I love.
• I say this every winter: all. The. Clementines.
• Maggie Smith’s poetry, especially “Bride,” which appeared in the New Yorker recently and is now taped to my bathroom mirror.
• My winter uniform: fleece-lined tights + black Clarks ankle boots + dress (denim, black or striped) + black quilted vest + scarf.
• That stunning red amaryllis in my kitchen, above.
• My umpteenth reread of the Harry Potter series. (Starting Deathly Hallows now.)
• Yoga at The Point every week, the occasional boot camp class there, and being recognized when I walk in the door.
• Shafts of full-on sunlight in the conference room at work, on the sidewalk and really wherever I can get them.
• The wisdom in Sheryl Sandberg’s book Option B.
• Making soup in batches for work lunches throughout the week.
• Shalane Flanagan’s superhero muffins.
• Slathering on the hand lotion and moisturizer (hello, dry winter skin).
• Acing a freelance writing assignment last week.
• Pulling out a beloved banana bread recipe.
• Sunrise over the harbor.
• Washing a sinkful of dirty dishes: reliably satisfying.
• Making a few fun plans with friends.
• Finding welcome, and being welcomed – both are such a gift.

What’s saving your life these days? I’d love to hear, if you’d like to share.

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It’s not magic, but it’s helping.

…is something I am saying a lot these days.

One reason for that: it’s winter. Never mind the mostly-mild weather and wild temperature swings; this time of year is always tough for me. The lack of sunlight can leave me feeling dull and flat, and I’m always exhausted (physically and emotionally) after the holidays. But I am trying (as Maggie Smith keeps reminding us) to keep moving, whether literally or otherwise.

Here are a few things that are helping me, as we continue to move through January:

My light therapy lamp. Real talk: some days I don’t know if it makes any difference. But I flip it on every morning anyway, and most days I think it does take the edge off these long, dark evenings.

Putting the bread in the freezer. This is not like Joey having to put Little Women in the freezer on that episode of Friends (by the way, I saw the new movie twice and adored it). I live alone, so freezing a loaf of bread is one way to ensure it doesn’t all mold before I can toast it. (These days I’m loving Trader Joe’s multigrain sourdough.)

Taking a walk. Which is always a good idea – whether it’s down the street to the library or Trader Joe’s, around my neighborhood on a weekend, or over to campus for a meeting.

Eating all the clementines. I’m going through them like they’re candy, and I’m totally fine with that – because they’re bright, delicious and healthy.

My budding amaryllis, which I wrote about the other day, and which might actually be magic.

Working a puzzle at a girlfriend’s house the other night. I agree with Anne: puzzles are relaxing and good for your brain.

Yoga, even if I have to drag myself there (and sometimes I do).

What’s helping you get through, these days?

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Saving my life: air travel edition.

 

Every December, I pack a big suitcase and travel down to Texas to spend the holidays with my family. (I make this journey two or three times a year, but Christmas is the big one.)

It’s always something of an odyssey, and it’s never without a headache or two. But there are a few things that save my life, every time. Here are the ones from this trip:

• My refillable water bottle, and water stations/fountains in every airport. These are a money-saver and a welcome antidote to that dry airplane air.
• Clementines, granola bars and any other healthy snacks I can find in the airport newsstands.
• The in-flight magazines, which I truly enjoy. I also sometimes treat myself to a magazine from one of those newsstands; this time it was Runner’s World. 
• Pleasant and helpful gate agents, who helped me tremendously when I mislaid my boarding passes (on the way to Texas) and ran into long flight delays (on the way back).
• The yoga room at DFW Airport. I’d heard about this newish trend, but this was my first time seeing it in action. It felt so good to dump my stuff and stretch out on a mat for a few minutes.
• Sweet seat mates, like the woman traveling with her toddler son on my flight to Dallas. We chatted about food and travel and Boston winters, and her wriggly little redhead gave me a few smiles.
• Layovers long enough to catch my breath.
• Strategically placed outlets throughout the gate areas.
• A place to get some decent Earl Grey – whether it’s Starbucks or a local cafe in the airport.

What saves your life when you fly? Any tips? I’m always up for more ways to make it easier.

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Saving my life: bleak midwinter edition.

If you’re a regular reader, you know that I periodically turn back to the question of what is saving my life now. (I got it from Barbara Brown Taylor’s luminous memoir Leaving Church.)

Even pausing to think about the question – or jot down list in my journal at the end of a long day – can help shift my perspective. There’s always something saving my life, even on the days when it feels like everything is killing me (and there are a lot of those, lately).

As she’s done in midwinter for the past few years, my friend Anne Bogel at Modern Mrs. Darcy is inviting everyone to share what’s saving their lives in this cold, bleak season. I’m sharing my list below, because I need the reminder to look for the lifesavers (or the bits of magic) that are all around. Bonus: I love the snapshot it provides of how my days look (and how they are brightened) at a given moment.

Here, in early February of a year that’s already been a wild ride, is what’s saving my life now:

• The La La Land soundtrack, which is full of swingy jazz, melancholy piano music and a couple of songs that make me cry.
• $3 daffodils for my desk (see above), and chats with my florist.
• My magic green coat, which garners compliments from strangers all. the. time.
• Red lipstick, especially on a grey day.
• My daily walks to Darwin’s, and checking in with my people there.
• Verlyn Klinkenborg’s wise, practical book on writing, which I am savoring on my morning commutes.
• The mornings I get to catch a ride to the train station with my husband. Those few minutes in the car together are precious.
• Texts from a few friends who are my lifelines.
• Long (or short) walks around Harvard Square: beloved streets, fresh air, the chance to stretch my legs and clear my head.
• Fleece-lined tights as the temperatures drop again.
• Piles of bright orange, tangy clementines.
• Hot water with honey and lemon, on the nights when I need a mug of warm (non-caffeinated) comfort.
• The colorful quilt made by my husband’s grandmother, which we sleep under all winter long.
• My happy lamp, Vitamin D pills, two desk lamps and all the sunshine I can get. (The days are slowly getting longer…)
• Weekly yoga classes at my local studio, where I am known by name.
• The fleece-lined plaid slippers I got for Christmas – so cozy.
• The Hamilton soundtrack, which helps me summon my courage.
• Scribbling in my journal when I can – even a few lines can help me sort out my thoughts.

Feel free to share your lifesavers in the comments, or hop over to Anne’s blog to join the linkup.

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Saving my life: spasmodic tricks of radiance edition.

Somehow, we’ve landed in mid-December, which is proving both twinkly and hectic, as per usual. Here’s what’s saving my life, as we move through the last stretch of quasi-normal days before the Christmas break:

• The Sylvia Plath poem from which this post takes its title.
• “O Come O Come Emmanuel” (the Civil Wars version), on repeat.
• Hot, spicy chai and a buttered English muffin from Darwin’s in the mornings.
• Striped dress + black leggings + boots + scarf + magic green coat = warm, stylish winter uniform.
• Sunshine and blue skies, even when it’s frigid out. (Related: walks in the fresh air, any time I can get them.)

• A couple of evenings in a friend’s living room, eating popcorn and drinking mulled cider and reading Advent poetry.
• Snatching time to write in the library before work, and exchanging smiles with the security guard.
• Yoga classes whenever I can squeeze them in. (Namaste.)
• Krista Tippett’s On Being interview with Mary Karr, which is warm and wise and so honest.
• A much-needed catch-up with a friend over hot chocolate the other day.
• The particular blue of these early December mornings, glimpsed from the bathroom window.
• Pumpkin chai from David’s Tea, brewed strong in a purple travel mug. Plus one of Molly’s scones and a crisp apple, every morning. (See also: not overthinking it.)

• Twinkle lights: on my desk at work, on the trees in Harvard Square, on my two Christmas trees (one big, one tiny).
• A few pages of Winter Solstice before bed, even when I can barely keep my eyes open.
• Community of all stripes and in all places, from church to work to my daily rounds in the Square. It has been a turbulent year, to say the least, but I am deeply grateful to have found several places where I know I belong.

What’s saving your life this December? Please share, if you’re willing.

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Saving my life: hectic fall edition.

This fall, as I mentioned recently, has been more than a little hectic. Lots of demands at work and at home, plus two wonderful trips – one to NYC and one to Texas for a college reunion – have left me feeling frazzled.

I’ve done some highly cathartic venting to a few friends, but one of them reminded me the other day that it’s also helpful to focus on the good. And there is so much good, even while things are crazy. So here, a list of what’s saving my life this fall:

• Early-morning writing sessions in one of the libraries on campus. If I wake up on time and catch the early bus, I often have 15 or 20 minutes to curl up in an armchair and scribble in my journal, or stare out the window. I like the quiet company of students (though occasionally someone is snoring!), and watching the leaves change through the windows. And writing is so good for my soul.
• Walking through the Yard, or anywhere in Harvard Square, and marveling at the changing leaves. My three favorite red maples, the harbingers, are all but bare now, and the yellow leaves are out in full force. I’m stunned by the colors every year.
• The weekday Morning Prayers service on campus, which this semester is meeting in Holden Chapel, is full of good words and gorgeous music. I’ve been making it over there most mornings, and I love listening to the choir, hearing speakers from around campus, and sight-reading unfamiliar but lovely hymns.
• Darwin’s, about which I have talked often here, continues to save my life at least twice a day. The chai, the cookies, the warm sunset walls, the sandwiches and soup, and most of all, the friendly chitchat with my people. It is my place and I am so grateful.
• My Thursday writers’ meetings up on the sixth floor, which are hilarious, sarcastic and always informative. (And which also involve some of my people.)
• Jen Lee’s posts about her new project, which have given me so many good words on the price of courage and being enough.
• Debriefing the days with my husband, whenever and however we can.
• A few stalwart friendships, local and far-flung, which provide wisdom, joy and so much love.
• My fall uniform: striped dress, black leggings and ankle boots, bright scarf, fingerless gloves, my favorite green coat. (See also: not overthinking it.)
• Antacid pills and lots of water. Boring but true.
• The Hamilton soundtrack, which has a line for every situation.
• My colleagues, who are smart, funny and caring, and who make the craziness much more bearable.
• Seeing so many people get excited about voting (though I am so ready for this election to be over).
• Good books. I’m not reading at my usual pace or volume right now, but I recently loved Beneath Wandering Stars, A Word for Love and Books for Living.
• This mantra from a colleague: “Never deny a positive impulse.” I love that.

What’s saving your life this fall? I’d really like to know.

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