December has arrived – suddenly, it seems. My neighbors are putting up twinkle lights, and the church sanctuary is full of pine garland, poinsettias and cyclamen. We began Advent on Sunday with the aching melody of “O Come O Come Emmanuel,” and I’m slowly setting out the Christmas decorations and turning back to the words of hope in my Advent book.
Alongside all of that, it is dark. So dark.
Not only does the sun slip below the horizon as I’m finishing my workdays, but the news out of Washington and elsewhere is (still) so disheartening. I have friends who are grieving, weary, afraid. I am struggling with heartbreak, change, loss, fear. I know so many people who are waiting: for test results or resolution or even the tiniest scrap of good news.
In the midst of the darkness (literal and metaphorical), I know there are pinpricks of light, even when I can’t see them. In an effort to remind myself of this fact, I thought it was time for another list of what’s saving my life now:
- Laurie Sheck’s poem “The Annunciation,” where I found the phrase “honest grace.” Kathleen Norris mentions it in her essay “Annunciation,” and I finally looked it up after meaning to do so for years.
- Seeing birds’ nests in the bare trees and thinking of Lindsey.
- Tulips for my desk and the weekly chat with my florist, who is the dearest man.
- Bracing, practical, sarcastic advice from a writer colleague.
- I say this every single day: Darwin’s. The ritual of walking down there; the delicious drinks and nourishing food; the familiar rhythm of the place; and most of all, the warmth from my café people.
- Laughter with my coworkers, whenever and however it comes.
- Morning Prayers at Mem Church, which is wrapping up for the fall: thoughtful words, lovely music, the ritual of repeating the Lord’s Prayer and singing (often sight-reading) the daily hymns.
- Texts from a few friends who are my lifelines.
- The return of my winter uniform: striped dress + black leggings (fleece-lined when I need them) + ankle boots + scarf + magic green coat.
- Weekly phone calls with my parents and looking forward to Christmas together.
- Twinkle lights wrapped around anything.
- Susannah Conway’s lovely December Reflections project on Instagram.
- Walking and sometimes running on the river trail: on bold blue weekend afternoons or under dark weeknight skies after work.
- In my ears on those walks and at other times: the Wailin’ Jennys and Hamilton. An odd mix, but it’s working for me.
- Sunrises seen from the kitchen window: fiery orange over the treetops, or blue with silver-streaked clouds.
- Yoga on my green mat at home (even 10 minutes can help) or at Healing Tree.
- The boot camp I’m doing on Monday nights, taught by my favorite yoga instructor. So fun and empowering.
- Slapdash huevos rancheros after said workout, every Monday night.
- My morning routine: snooze button + hot shower + sunrise gazing + tea in a purple travel mug + scone eaten en route to the trolley stop.
- Takeout from our favorite Indian place and a few hilarious episodes of Modern Family with the hubs.
- Putting the world to rights over paella and wine with a girlfriend.
- The words that have carried me over many months.
What is saving your life these days? Please share, if you like.
cakes, tea and dreams 