Posts Tagged ‘success’

Failing and Flying

Everyone forgets that Icarus also flew.
It’s the same when love comes to an end,
or the marriage fails and people say
they knew it was a mistake, that everybody
said it would never work. That she was
old enough to know better. But anything
worth doing is worth doing badly.
Like being there by that summer ocean
on the other side of the island while
love was fading out of her, the stars
burning so extravagantly those nights that
anyone could tell you they would never last.
Every morning she was asleep in my bed
like a visitation, the gentleness in her
like antelope standing in the dawn mist.
Each afternoon I watched her coming back
through the hot stony field after swimming,
the sea light behind her and the huge sky
on the other side of that. Listened to her
while we ate lunch. How can they say
the marriage failed? Like the people who
came back from Provence (when it was Provence)
and said it was pretty but the food was greasy.
I believe Icarus was not failing as he fell,
but just coming to the end of his triumph.


I came across this poem online this week, as a blogger I follow announced her separation. It made me think of my own marriage, and how we failed, yes, but also flew, over the decade-plus we were together. Four years later, there is still beauty (and some pain) in what was, and also in the new life I’ve made since then.


Read Full Post »


Via Karen, this recent TED Talk from Elizabeth Gilbert is the best thing I’ve seen in a long time. (I loved her first TED Talk too, on genius and the creative spirit.)

Gilbert explores the emotional effects of success and failure, and the value of coming back home: “Your home is whatever in this world you love more than you love yourself.” Wise and powerful words – definitely worth a watch.

Read Full Post »

quiet creativity in progress

When we would talk about our future in private, I would ask Mark if he really thought we had a chance. Of course we had a chance, he’d say, and anyway, it didn’t matter if this venture failed. In his view, we were already a success, because we were doing something hard and it was something that mattered to us. You don’t measure things like that with words like success or failure, he said. Satisfaction comes from trying hard things and then going on to the next hard thing, regardless of the outcome. What mattered was whether or not you were moving in a direction you thought was right. This sounded extremely fishy to me.

—Kristin Kimball, The Dirty Life: A Memoir of Farming, Food, and Love (bold emphasis mine)

I’ve been thinking about these words since I read them in Kimball’s memoir about building a farm from scratch in upstate New York, with the man who is now her husband.

Before they met, Kristin was a New York writer, with a closetful of high heels, an apartment in the East Village and a fast-paced, urban life. When she met Mark, it was nearly love at first sight – but it still took great courage (and not a little blind faith) for her to pull up stakes and move to the boondocks with this energetic, low-tech, handsome, stubborn farmer.

Her memoir gives the gory details of their first year of farming: watching a cow give birth, finding kittens dead in the barnyard after a weasel sneaked in, all sorts of weather- and equipment-related disasters. But the book is also suffused with joy: the sheer and simple joy of creating a home, out of dirt and seeds and tools and hard work.

Although Kristin freely admitted her doubts, she gradually came to believe that this difficult, exhausting, bone-wearying project they’d taken on would be worth it in the end. More: she came to believe it was worth it in the present. Even as they ran into setback after setback, she had never been more fulfilled in her life, or believed more deeply in anything she’d undertaken.

These days, I have a hard time believing in Mark’s recipe for satisfaction. Regular life – commuting and working, grocery shopping, surviving another Boston winter, keeping in touch with friends and family, finding time to spend with my husband – seems to take a monumental effort. At the end of the day, I rarely have enough energy left over to write, or to do anything creative and fulfilling. I spend a lot of time wishing things were easier, simpler. I am dreaming daily of hopping a plane to Oxford or Paris, or the more humble plains of West Texas. Escaping my life, instead of digging into it.

But Kristin’s words, and recent posts from Addie about “the messy middle” and Sarah about finding wisdom in the everyday, are nudging me to reconsider. To try the hard things, again and again, even if they’re as mundane as getting up in the morning, dealing with paperwork and unanswered emails, or as intimidating as doing some real writing, the kind I’ve been avoiding for weeks now.

I don’t want to spend my life spinning my wheels, or avoiding the hard things because they’re hard. I want to try them, even if – or when – I sometimes fail. I want to be brave, and keep showing up for my life. Even when I’d rather be anywhere else.

Read Full Post »

Yes, it’s true. My article “25 Tokens of Success” is now part of the Career/Finance section of RELEVANT magazine online. You can read it here.

Note that for this, I learned how to insert links into Blogger. That’s a big deal for me. But not nearly as big as seeing my OWN byline in a place other than ACU Today. And I got the sweetest email from the section editor, saying she enjoyed the article and encouraging me to keep writing! (Oh, I will. Believe me, I will.)

I have thought of myself as a writer for a long time – because I do write, and I have such a passion for it. And as Al Haley has said, “Real writers can’t not write, if you know what I mean.” But it’s very affirming to learn that someone else also sees you as a writer. And a good one at that!

Please read the article and let me know what you think. (And if you hate it, please don’t tell me – I’m riding high!) Happy Friday!

Read Full Post »